Three Monologues - Sarah Kron

I have four stuffed polar bears and I take them everywhere with me, so they move with me to my different apartments, they go back home with me, (laughs) and I do this because I grew up in a family with lots of kids and I’ve always had like a little person in my bed. So, I do still sleep with my stuffed animals because I cuddle with them every night and sleep with them because I just need something to cuddle with. I got my first one when I was…five years old; I won it in a raffle. I was at the mall and there’s like thousands of people there and everyone had a raffle ticket and the only item I wanted was the polar bear and I happened to get it. And then…I just kept collecting them as I go along. Because one of my goals in life is that I do want a baby polar bear. As a pet. (laughs) Always and forever.

Yes, I’m 20 years old and I still sleep with my baby blanket every night, I actually have a hard time sleeping without it. It’s pink and it’s little and…I like the way it feels…o-on my face… (laughs), it’s very comforting, actually, you can ask all my roommates, I like hold it up to my face because it’s a comfort to me and it’s actually my pillow – I don’t use a pillow – but I use my baby blanket, and I’ve had it as long as I can remember and (sighs). My parents periodically try and take it away from me and hide it…it’s gone in the trash can before. And actually, yesterday, my roommate put it in – hid it in her food cabinet and I didn’t notice until I was going to steal something from her and then I was like, “Heyyy…that’s my baby blanket!” And I will have it on my wedding night. Probably.

I realize this might seem kind of odd, but it’s really special to me. My grandma – my abuela – passed away when I was like five years old, really young. I can’t explain how close I was with her, how much I loved her, even though I was so young. I’ve never really been that close with my other grandma – the one on my dad’s side. But on my mom’s side, I’ve always been close with that grandma. My abuela. And yeah, even though she was Spanish, I still called her grandma. My Grandma Adelina. (smiles) Anyway, I always loved going to visit her with my mom, so when I found out she passed away, even though I was only five, really young, I really felt it. I really missed her, you know? So my mom got me this little bendable lamb bookmark thing, I was obsessed with reading and bookmarks. And this little bookmark was really soft, like a lamb, and even had those little arms that you could bend back and forth, and you could bend it in half, too (shows this). Anyway. I put it on my desk, right perched up next to my scriptures, like this little lamb was sitting down, leaning against my scriptures, folding its arms. My mom always told me my Grandma Adelina was my guardian angel. And now I understood that a little better, because I had my little lamb, kinda symbolic of my Grandma I guess, sitting there on my nightstand, watching over me. I don’t keep it by my desk anymore, but I’m pretty sure I have it somewhere. I just don’t need the lamb to remind me of the fact that she’s watching over me anymore. Now I just know.